Van Vuuren Bros
A song about all the wonderful things that Australia has to offer.

Written and Performed by Christiaan Van Vuuren.
Animated by Connor Van Vuuren.
Recorded and Mixed by Alex Mills at Song Zu.
Backing Track is 'Payday' by Jason Farnham:


In Australia we've got deadly animals a plenty.
We've got funnel web spiders who'll murder you and your family.
Under every second rock is a red back spider.
And they’ll kill ya just cause, I dunno, they're bored or whatever.

We got invisible brown snakes who'll bite you on the foot,
And you’ll be dead in seven minutes, like that, kaput.
We've got the world's deadliest creatures all over the place.
We've got magpies who'll steal the eyeballs from your face -

But at least we don't have AR-15's.

We've got great white sharks who'll ascend from the deep,
And rip ya in half with their razor sharp teeth.
We've got salt water crocs who'll death-roll you to death,
and sea-snakes who'll gladly snatch your last breath. 

We've got a blue ringed octopus no bigger than this,
that just sits around in rock pools waiting to kill kids.
And even the platypus, a cute beaver-duck thing,
has got a spur on it’s ankle that’ll kill ya in one sting. 

But at least we don't have AR-15's.
And at least they can't end up in the hands of psychopathic teens.

We've got stonefish and stingrays and sea-urchins and shit,
and hectic fucken homicidal box jellyfish,
and these Jellyfish they aren’t even sentient beings,
they don’t even really do stuff or know about things. 

They just float around on the whim of the currents,
being pointless non-cognitive murderous cunts.
And if that weren't enough in terms of natural hazards,
here in Australia the sun causes cancer.

But at least we don't have AR-15's.
And at least they can't end up in the hands of suicidal teens.
And at least we don't have an NRA, who pay millions of dollars every day, buying off politicians not to change old laws.

We got bull sharks, cone shells, salt water crocodiles.
Honey bees, european wasps, and blue ringed octopi's.
Death adders, blue bottles, red back spiders.
Tiger sharks, tiger snakes, and lizards that'll bite ya. 

We got Sea snakes, taipans, cassowaries, copperheads,
all the creatures of the land and sky and sea that want you dead.
Toadfish, stonefish, irukandgi jellyfish -
Bull ants, centipedes, and ticks that cause paralysis. 

But thank fuck we don't have AR-15's.
And thank fuck they can't end up in the hands psychopathic suicidal teens. And thank fuck we don't have an NRA, who pay millions of dollars every day, buying off politicians not to change some law. 

A law that was written 200 years ago,
in a time when it took three minutes to reload,
a single round of ammunition, and we knew nothing about depression,
and you couldn't fire 45 rounds in sixty seconds.

And there wasn't even such a thing as automatic weapons.
And there weren't thirty one mass-shootings monthly…
but what would I know cause I'm from another country.

Comments 15597 Comments

Van Vuuren Bros
Hey guys!

Some people have rightly pointed out that we got a few facts in the video wrong, or some things might be slightly exaggerated, so just wanted to clarify a few things:

- Funnel Web Spiders lack the dexterity and strength to carry knives, and there's never been a case of a Funnel Web killing an entire family.

- Blue Ringed Octopi don't just sit around in rock pools waiting to kill kids, they also do whatever else Octopi like to do.

- Red Back Spiders aren't under every second rock, and they don't bite you because they're bored, they probably do it because they're pissed off about some shit, or scared.

- Despite the fact that a Magpie will swoop the shit out of you, there's never been a case of a Magpie stealing the eyeball of a happy singing man. Also, Magpies don't have abs.

- Brown Snakes aren't invisible, they're just hard to see on brown ground or in brown leaves. I think brown ground is more commonly known as dirt.

- There's no evidence that sea snakes take pleasure in killing people.

- A platypus is not a beaver-duck thing, scientifically speaking.

- Stingrays don't wear Universal Solider style cyborg eye-pieces.

- Copperhead snakes don't wear reflective aviators.

- Box Jellyfish don't go to counselling and there's never been a single one charged for murder.

- Both Tiger Sharks and Tiger Snakes don't have actual tiger heads.

- Most Bull sharks don't have nose rings.

- There are no lizards with a mouth inside a mouth inside a mouth.

- Taipans don't look Thai, or any kind of Asian whatsoever.

- Irukandji Jellyfish are not actually made of dangerous radioactive material.

- Drop bears are a real hectic deadly thing that we forgot to include.

That about covers it.

Sorry, and thanks for understanding.
Van Vuuren Bros
JH Rocks
What would I know, because I'm from another *cuntry*
They could’ve used the guns to take down the animals trying kill them.
Besides you probably might miss a bunch of times since you lost a war against some birds.
👌 got you
ryen leydic44
Perfect song
I love inn the US and he's not lying about the government and ar 15
But at least we don't have AR-15's
Jacob Pernelli
I’m an American and he’s not wrong
0:38 you looked
Joseph Stalin
What was the guy smoking when he made this
Lucas Peaden
that suicidal teen one was not cool dude come on man i liked the video though cuz its a fire song
Alex A.
If Pokemon was more realistic
RioGrande Locos
in australia if you hate someone you send your army of crocodiles after someone. in USA if you think someone sucks you pull out your carbine or assault rifle out and mow him and his friends down.
Pedro Mambretti
ello ‘
i dont get the AR-15 thing
Fintan Raistrick
This should be our National Anthem
Victoria Lay
The 31 mass shooting monthly is America not Australia
Mr Moustache
I sent this to my American Friend

*He blocked me*
PsychoBoy2018 Creative Destruction
Where the cane toad??
Melissa Ali
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To understand these memes you sorta have to go to an Aussie school. Enjoy.

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